1. In olden times, one desiring to marry would just kidnap a young maiden from her parents homestead, and that would have guaranteed betrothal and subsequent marriage; whit all its benefits. But alas! These modern times we live in have human rights, self-determination, gender equality, and all those instruments of Satan. I weep for humanity.

  2. No but srsly, just cos you got lucky one day and reproduced doesn’t make you any prettier. That’s still something you should keep in mind. ^^

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