1. Kid: hey god , when i grow up, can i get some wheels to ride thru town like a boss?
    God: i’ll give you a set of wheels right now my son, ATTACHED TO A FUCKING CHAIR!
    Kid: fuck, i can’t feel my legs! god, what the fuck?
    Jesus: Maim that unfaithful bitch!!! Mangle his arms too!! HAHAHA!

  2. “An incredible, booming voice said to Timmy, ‘I am the Lord thy God’. I have heard your prayers, and now I shall answer them. No, you cannot get out of your wheelchair. Not ever.”

    From the article…

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